Why Gender Is Always Relevant

One argument that I hear often—particularly in response to increasing awareness around trans identities in a certain context, like the workplace—is that “we’re drawing attention to gender” when it doesn’t otherwise need to be there. Some folks wonder: why make gender an issue if it doesn’t have to be one? My response is this: gender Read More …

Who’s Responsible for Educating Whom?

Last week I had two conversations with folks about the work that I do, and one thing that came up in both of those conversations is the question about who’s responsible for educating others about trans issues. The short and simple answer is this: NOT the trans person. Or the family of the trans person. Read More …

What Are You Letting Go of This Fall?

It’s been one month since my Dad’s accident. In many ways, my life has returned to normal. I am back in Minneapolis; I spend my days looking for part-time work, taking care of myself, and spending time with the people (and cats) that I love. But my center of gravity has shifted. The month before Read More …

4 Steps to Speak With More Confidence About Trans Stuff

You’re at a social gathering, standing there in a small circle with your sweating drink in hand, the residue of that handful of mixed nuts you just ate in your teeth. The conversation suddenly shifts to Caitlyn Jenner, and you feel the sudden urge to disappear. Your stomach gets tight, you begin to sweat. You Read More …

How to Be More Mindful of Your Language

This happened recently: I’m standing in line with my partner at a bookstore in Minneapolis while they purchase a book. As the bookstore employee is putting our books into a bag, my partner asks if I gave the clerk our coupon, and I responded quickly with “I already gave it to her.” I realized immediately Read More …

Speaking the Names of Trans Women of Color

Last week I had the great fortune of spending three days on the North Shore of Lake Superior with my partner and their family. For those of you who are close to me, or if you read my interview on how I would describe my gender, you know that Lake Superior’s shores are one of Read More …

To Pee or Not to Pee?

This past weekend my partner and I traveled 600 miles round trip to Milwaukee, WI to attend the wedding of friends. Two scenes from the weekend: A. We’re on our way back to Minneapolis. We’re hot and tired and hungry and stop at a gas station in rural Wisconsin that serves as a truck stop, Read More …

How Would You Describe Your Gender?

Welcome to One Small Thing—my biweekly newsletter that provides you each time with one small thing you can start doing today to make a difference in the life of a person who identifies as transgender or gender non-conforming. I’m so glad you’re here. This past spring I had the pleasure of sitting down with the Read More …

I Mean This With Love: All Trans* People Are Not the Same

Welcome to One Small Thing—my biweekly newsletter that provides you each time with one small thing you can start doing today to make a difference in the life of a person who identifies as transgender or gender non-conforming. Thank you for being here. Never in my lifetime—as relatively short as it’s been—has there been so Read More …

The One Thing You Need to Know About Using Preferred Gender Pronouns

Welcome to One Small Thing—my biweekly newsletter that provides you each time with one small thing you can start doing today to make a difference in the life of a person who identifies as transgender or gender non-conforming. Thank you for being here. Today I’m going to reveal the one thing you need to know Read More …